Cough Syrup
by citysinger13
Summary: Kendall's life is perfect. But his heart is full of pain, and he has to get it out somehow. What will happen if he goes too far? Contains: depression, self-harm, cutting, underage drinking, recreational drug use, suicide Title based on the song by Young the Giant
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Big Time Rush or any of its characters.**

**ONE TIME WARNING: THIS STORY MAY BE TRIGGERING. It contains graphic depictions of self-harm in the form of cutting, as well as an in-depth look at depression. There will also be mentions of suicide. In addition, there will be mention of pre-marital sex (no actual smut) and underage drinking, as well as the possibility of the depiction of recreational drug use. This story is harsh realism. This is the only time this warning will appear. **

"Boys, smile this way!"

"Now this way!"

"Jo, you look amazing!"

"Jo, who are you wearing tonight?"

"Carlos, flash that smile this way!"

"Oh my God, _Big Time Rush!_"

"_WE LOVE YOU JAMES!"_

James flashed a peace sign to the group of fans that had just screamed on his behalf. Carlos and Logan laughed as they both signed some posters that fans had held out to them as paparazzi continued snapping photos of them on the red carpet.

Kendall finished posing for pictures with Jo and turned to join his friends at the mob of fans. "Kendall, will you take a picture?" a fan, looking about fifteen or sixteen, asked as she held out her phone.

"I'm not supposed to take photos, only sign autographs," Kendall said apologetically, and then grimaced as the fan's face fell. "Okay, just the one, fast, fast," he said, jumping next to her. He laughed as she nearly fumbled the phone in her excitement. "Faster, faster!" he yelled, jokingly, grabbing the phone to help her hold it steady so they could snap the selfie.

"Thanks Kendall!" the fan squealed. Kendall gave her a peck on the cheek, inspiring screams everywhere.

"Jesus, and they call _me _the womanizer of the group!" James joked, making a few people nearby laugh.

Jo, standing a little ways down the line of fans, raised an eyebrow at Kendall, but she was smiling so he knew she wasn't actually mad. He offered her his cheek and she planted a kiss on it. Camera flashes went crazy. They continued through the line of autograph seekers, posed for a few more photos for the press, and finally made it inside the theatre where Jo's latest movie was premiering that night.

"Woo, that was crazy," Jo sighed, glancing around before surreptitiously adjusting her strapless dress. She looked stunning, wearing a white strapless floor-length gown covered in beads that sparkled every time she moved. Her blonde hair was artfully curled and cascaded over one shoulder. Kendall smiled and reached out to caress her face.

"I'm proud of you," he told her, taking her hand and walking through the lobby after the guys and their dates with her. "This movie is huge, I'm sure it's gonna be great."

"I'm just glad it's over and I'm back in the country." Jo had spent a good portion of the previous fall on location in Canada filming the epic action thriller.

"_And _now I'm done with the tour, we can just spend some time together." Soon after Jo had arrived back home, Big Time Rush had left for a two month tour across the US, Canada, and Mexico. "Well except for your trip to Hawaii in two weeks."

Jo sighed. "It's not really a _trip, _Kendall. I'm doing a modeling shoot for a makeup company that wants me to be their new spokesmodel!"

"I know," Kendall insisted, bumping her shoulder lightly with his own as they maneuvered through the dark theatre to find their seats. A few people screamed when they saw Jo come in. She waved as they sat down in the seats reserved for them, in the center. "I'm just jealous I'll be too busy in the studio to come with you."

"If Gustavo lets you off, you're totally welcome," Jo told him for the twentieth time with a shrug. "And besides, it's only for a few days. A couple of beach shoots, and a day extra in case something goes wrong with scheduling. Not a big deal."

James leaned over Logan, who was sitting next to him, to speak to Kendall. "Hey, did you talk to Kelly about our video shoot next week, Kendall?"

"I thought Logan was going to ask her?" Kendall answered.

Logan shrugged. "I didn't."

"No big deal," Kendall said, taking a sip of his drink that a theatre employee had brought him. "I'll call her tomorrow."

"Oh, be sure to ask her about the appearance at Disneyland too," Carlos reminded him. "I want to know if I can bring Chelsea." He slipped an arm around his new girlfriend and they smiled at each other.

"Yeah, sure," Kendall started to say, but was cut off by James.

"And don't forget about _The Ellen Show_ taping," James reminded him.

"Yeah, and-" Logan started to say, but stopped abruptly when Camille elbowed him (pretty hard, it looked like) in the chest. "Ow!" he complained indignantly.

"Geez, you guys, what is he, your manager?" Camille scolded.

"Kind of," Logan said, and immediately moved back as Camille moved her arm as though to elbow him again. "Don't hurt me again!"

"Kendall's just really good at remembering details and stuff," James shrugged, leaning back to grab some of the popcorn that his blonde supermodel date was holding.

Camille rolled her eyes, but the lights dimmed and the opening credits started rolling. Everyone cheered as Jo's name faded on the screen. Kendall put an arm around his girlfriend and sat back to enjoy the movie.

The limo pulled up in front of the Palm Woods Hotel late that night, after the movie and after-party. Logan and Camille hopped out first, both of them hopped up on too much sugar. "My dad's out of town," Camille said simply. Logan grinned, grabbed Camille's hand, and both of them ran like little kids in the front door of the hotel.

Carlos and Chelsea got out after that, followed by Kendall and Jo. "You coming in, bud?" Kendall asked James, who was still in the limo. He'd already started making out with Marissa, the supermodel he was dating.

James untangled himself from his girl for a split second. "Nah, I'm going to ride and make sure 'Rissa gets home all right," he said, slurring slightly. He had gotten a little drunk, despite the fact that the boys all still had a year before they were able to drink legally—seems James always had a way around the rules.

Marissa flipped her blonde hair over one shoulder to turn and look at Kendall over the other. "He'll be staying with me," she told him smoothly, giving a flawless smirk before turning back and sticking her tongue back down James's throat.

Kendall straightened up from where he'd been leaning down to look in the door. "Right, that's good, you kids have fun then," he said awkwardly. "Call us if you need a ride home tomorrow, bud." Kendall shut the door and waved at the driver, who pulled away.

Carlos and Chelsea had already gone inside it seemed. Jo smiled at Kendall as he slid a hand in hers. "They went to Chelsea's apartment," she told him, reading his mind. "Looks like it'll be just us tonight."

Kendall grinned. His mom and Katie had moved back to Minnesota the year before. Katie had pitched a royal fit, and it had been hard for everyone, but eventually everyone had agreed that it was the best decision (Katie a bit reluctantly). The guys now lived in apartment 2J by themselves.

"Well then," he said, giving a little bow and gesturing towards the door. "After you, my lady." He held open the front door of the hotel.

Jo giggled. "Why thank you, good sir," she replied. They walked like perfectly proper people all the way through the lobby, past the uninterested night clerk and into the elevator. As soon as the doors closed and the elevator started moving, Jo pulled her arm from Kendall's, practically pushed him against the wall, and started kissing him like she hadn't seen him in a hundred years.

The ride to the second floor was disappointingly short. They ran down the hall giggling, Jo holding her heels in one hand and hiking up the front of her gown with the other. Kendall opened the door, taking off his jacket and flinging it onto the kitchen counter. Jo dropped her shoes by the door and threw herself at Kendall again.

Kendall lifted her right off the ground, her arms around his neck and knees slightly bent so her toes didn't touch the ground, and carried her towards his bedroom, still kissing her. He only set her down when they reached the door of the bedroom. "I love you, Jo," he murmured as she began undoing the top buttons of his shirt.

She stopped what she was doing to place a hand on Kendall's lips. "I love you too," she told him. "Now hurry up and unzip this damn dress." She turned and pulled her hair away from her back, glancing over her shoulder to grin cheekily at Kendall.

Kendall was very willing to comply.

Later, Jo was asleep with her head resting on Kendall's chest. Kendall watched her for a while, felt her chest move with each breath, watched her lashes flutter slightly as she slept, and admired how artful her hair still looked. Eventually though, he kissed her on the forehead and gently eased himself out from under her head. In her sleep, she turned over and readjusted on her other side.

Running a hand through his hair and ruffling it up a bit, Kendall got out of bed. He found some clean pajamas, putting them on before he quietly tiptoed from the bedroom and shut the door as silently as possible. When the door was closed, he sighed and walked off down the hall towards the kitchen and living room.

He flopped onto the couch, not bothering to turn on any lights. For the past couple of days, he'd been having a hard time going to sleep, and usually didn't manage to fall asleep before the sun was coming up. That was still a few hours away.

Kendall grabbed the remote from the coffee table, flipping on the TV, immediately turning the volume down to a point where it was low enough that it wouldn't wake Jo, but loud enough that he could hear it.

Flipping through a few channels, Kendall stopped when his girlfriend's face lit up on the screen. It took him only a second to realize that it was a rerun of a celebrity news show that had apparently covered Jo's movie premiere. Kendall smiled, taking in again how truly gorgeous Jo had looked on the red carpet.

The news reporter voice over was mentioning Jo's movie as well as her TV and modeling projects. Jo's face appeared again, being interviewed on the red carpet.

"It's really been a great experience, and I'm just so happy to share it with everyone," Jo said with a never-wavering toothy grin.

The TV then showed a montage of video footage of Kendall and Jo together at the premiere, with the other guys in a few shots as well. "Jo was accompanied this evening by long-time boyfriend, Kendall Knight of the boy band Big Time Rush," the voiceover stated. It flashed back to the interviewer, this time interviewing Kendall

"I'm really proud of her," Kendall's onscreen doppelganger said. "She's worked really hard. I love that I can share this day with her."

"The future is just so bright, for everyone involved," Jo said as the focus switched back to her interview. "I'm really looking forward to future projects."

The story ended then, and the show went to commercial break. Kendall smiled faintly, and hit mute. He just sat there for a while, gently tracing his fingertips up and down the lines on his opposite palm. The show came back on and for a few minutes he watched the coverage of Justin Bieber's latest meltdown with the TV still on mute.

His phone chimed where he'd left it on the counter when he and Jo had come in earlier. Hopping up from the couch, he grabbed it and opened his facebook to check the notification that had alerted him.

After scrolling through facebook for a few minutes, he went to twitter to check his newsfeed. As usual, his tweet from earlier ("So proud of my girl Jo_Taylor! I love you babe!") had hundreds of responses, and he took the time to scroll through them as he walked slowly back to the couch.

It was moments like these that he wished he wasn't so devoted to reading all of his messages. Tweets insulting his relationship with Jo hit him like a punch in the gut. He tried to let the comments roll off of him, and focused more on the kind ones between the bullies. But then a tweet came up that made him stop.

Jo_Taylor is a fat whore. Untalented bitch.

It was like he had been splashed with a bucket of ice-cold water. He had never in his life read a negative comment on Jo. Plenty of things about his _relationship_ with her—but no one had ever attacked her. It had simply never seemed to occur to him that she would have the same types of haters that he did.

The rage that he was feeling was not normal. He had never been this mad before, and he dropped his phone onto the couch, using his now-free hands to rub his temples and take a few deep breaths.

_How are people so horrible?_

His anger, sadness, and outrage was filling him up to the point where he thought he might burst. His hands were clenched into fists and he was on the verge of throwing a punch at the wall. An idea popped into his head—not even an idea, a realization.

It scared him, but the heavy weight in his chest bothered him too much to fight. He went searching through the hall closet and then found what he was looking for—an X-Acto knife that they kept for opening packages. He grabbed it and then headed for the bathroom with it.

He closed the door, locked it, and held his arm out over the sink. He put the edge of the blade over the thin, sensitive skin on his wrist and watched, eerily fascinated as his blood leaked out. It hurt—but it also felt good. With the blood running out, it was almost like he could feel all of his anger leaving him as well. He made two more lines, parallel to the first one, right after the other up his wrist. And he felt better.

Kendall hadn't done it in years. When he was fourteen, he'd had some issues with depression and self-harm, but his friends had helped him. They'd picked him up when he was done, and patched him up when he hurt himself.

He'd gotten better, especially after moving to California and forming Big Time Rush. He hadn't cut since he was seventeen, three years ago.

But he'd had to. The overwhelming pressure in his chest—in his _heart_—had made him do it. He never understood why everyone was always so upset about people who cut themselves. He always felt so much better after letting something out of his body when it felt like there was too much feeling in it to deal with.

His friends had always been there for him concerning it. James was the least understanding, but he always just stayed quiet after a few times lecturing Kendall to no avail. Carlos was pretty silent on the subject too, and usually just brought Kendall snacks whenever he had been upset enough to need to cut. Logan was the one who always fixed Kendall up whenever the cuts were pretty bad. He'd wrap them up and warn Kendall about cutting too deep or too much.

Of course, they told him not to cut at all. But it seems they understood that sometimes he had to. And none of them wanted to tell Mrs. Knight. James had suggested it once, and Kendall had nearly exploded with anger about it. That had resulted in him slashing his wrists so bad that Logan almost took Kendall to the emergency room.

None of them ever suggested him telling anyone or getting help after that. They compromised—they wouldn't badger him about not doing it, as long as he didn't do it regularly and not badly. And so far, Kendall had managed to stick to that.

He cut one more line across his forearm, for good measure.

The next morning, Jo woke up to find Kendall not in bed with her. She yawned and stretched as she got up, grabbing for her underwear from the night before and one of Kendall's hockey jerseys from the chest of drawers. Her nose guided her to the kitchen, where she found her beautiful boyfriend cooking pancakes.

He grinned at her. "I knew the smell would wake you," he teased. "There's coffee made."

"Ugh, thanks," Jo said, walking around the counter into the kitchen. "When did you get up?"

Kendall sighed. "I kind of had trouble sleeping," he admitted.

Jo frowned. "Again?" she asked. When Kendall nodded, she sighed as well. "Kendall, maybe you should talk to a doctor or something. Maybe he can give you something."

"Nah, I'm fine," he assured her, flashing a smile over her shoulder. "I just have to stop drinking so much caffeine. I'll fix my sleep schedule once the guys and I get to work on the new album."

"Okay," Jo said hesitantly. She wrapped her arms around Kendall's waist from behind and stood on her tip toes in order to place her chin on his shoulder. "I just worry about you babe," she told him, kissing his cheek.

"Don't worry, sweetie, I'm fine," he assured her, placing the pancakes on a plate before turning around to give her a kiss properly. "I'm a big boy."


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Big Time Rush or any of its characters.**

Kendall sighed and closed his eyes as he stretched out on his bed after arriving home. He and the guys had just spent a long day at Disneyland, filled with a short concert, a parade appearance, a meet-and-greet, and, of course, all the rides they could go on. He was absolutely exhausted, but not in a way that he thought he'd fall asleep.

A knock came at his door before opening. Kendall propped himself up on his elbows to see Logan poking his head in the doorway. "Hey, man, you already going to bed?" he asked.

"Nah," Kendall said, shaking his head and sitting up all the way, wrapping his arms around his knees. "Just resting. Long day."

"Definitely," Logan agreed, nodding sympathetically. "Well, Carlos and James went to hang out down by the pool and thought you were asleep, but I just wanted to check on you. If you want to go down…"

"I'm not really in the mood," Kendall said blankly.

"That's cool," Logan assured him. "Just thought I'd let you know what they were doing. I'm just going to be in my room working on homework, but if you want to hang out, let me know." After graduating from high school, Logan had decided to start taking part time classes at UCLA. Kendall had gone too, for a semester, but had decided it was too much work with both the band and school. He didn't know how Logan did it.

"You work too hard," Kendall commented, thinking about just that.

"We all do," Logan said with a stifled yawn and shrug. "Besides, this paper is due in a week and I've barely glanced at it. And since Camille's filming on location until late tonight, I have a free evening."

"Don't forget to get some sleep," Kendall told him as he lay back down on his pillows. "We have recording for the album in the morning, and then the fittings for the video shoot after that."

"Yup," Logan said, and Kendall heard his door shut and Logan's footsteps go back down the hall and then, very faint, the sound of his own bedroom door closing.

Kendall closed his eyes again, willing himself to go to sleep, but thoughts raced around his head too fast for him to even comprehend. He wondered why Jo hadn't texted him back yet. He wondered if he would mess up the harmonies in recording tomorrow like he had during the rehearsal a couple days ago. He wondered if he had gotten mean messages on twitter.

He tried to drown out the thoughts until he couldn't stand it anymore.

* * *

Logan rubbed his hands over his eyes as he stared at his computer screen blankly. He had 1000 words to go in this essay. Resting his forehead in his hands for a few minutes, he almost nodded off—he got shocked back awake by the sound of a tapping on the door. "Logan?" came Kendall's voice, soft. "You busy?" Kendall pushed open the door slightly.

"No, I need a distraction," Logan said with a laugh. "What's up?" He turned around in his desk chair and stopped to comprehend what he was seeing.

Kendall stood there, in his pajamas and a t-shirt, looking sad and maybe a little scared. He was holding his hand over his wrist. And there was blood—all around Kendall's hand, and dripping down his arm.

"No," Logan sighed sadly.

"You've got all the medical supplies in here again, don't you?" Kendall asked, avoiding eye contact with Logan.

"Carlos abuses the cartoon character band-aids," Logan said, standing up and grabbing Kendall gently by the elbow, guiding him to sit on the edge of the bed. "And if I don't keep it all in here, it all gets misplaced anyway. Kendall, what happened?"

Kendall removed his hand, showing the several horizontal lines across his wrist, all of them still bleeding. Logan quickly grabbed the first-aid kit from his closet, and also a small white washcloth from the bathroom. He started wiping some of the blood from Kendall's arm. "You know what happened, why do I have to say anything?" Kendall murmured. "I thought part of this deal is that I don't get asked questions."

"That was years ago," Logan replied. He inspected the severity of the cuts. Long, but none of them incredibly deep. Nothing dangerous at the very least. "Kendall, I don't remember the last time you've cut."

"Yesterday," Kendall said simply, and Logan's head jerked up, surprised. "I started again last week," Kendall confessed.

"Kendall," Logan said in shock as he applied pressure, attempting to stem the bleeding. He pulled the cloth away, and did indeed see evidence of recent scars beneath the new cuts. "What the hell, man? How long's this been going on?"

"Since last week," Kendall repeated. "But before that, not since the last time you had to clean me up."

"That's so _long _ago, I can't even remember when it was." Logan dabbed at the cuts with some alcohol-soaked cotton balls, making Kendall wince.

"February 18th when we were seventeen," Kendall informed him. Logan glanced up at him in surprise.

"You really know the exact date?" he muttered, slowly looking back down at Kendall's wrist, starting to wrap gauze around it slowly.

"Of course I do," Kendall told him, also staring at his own wrist, transfixed by what Logan was doing. "It was crazy hard not to do it. I missed it."

Logan shook his head. He tied off the gauze and stared at Kendall. "Why did you do this?" he demanded. Kendall avoided his gaze. "Kendall."

Kendall finally looked up. "I shouldn't have to tell you," he complained. "That was the deal. We don't have to talk about it. You _said _that. You promised that."

"When we were kids," Logan reminded him. "And the deal was if you didn't do it too often. How many times in the past week have you cut?"

Kendall fidgeted. "Not many," he lied.

"See, I-I really don't believe you," Logan stammered in his hurry to get his point across. "Do you remember what we talked about back then? You have to find different ways to let it out, and to deal with the bad feelings, right? And clearly something you did worked, if you were clean for three whole years. You've got to keep trying, Kendall, okay?"

"Okay! Jesus," Kendall exclaimed, standing up. "God, I have one slip-up, and you jump all over me again. I might as well not even tell you when I screw up. Would you like that better?"

"No, of course not, man, but I just want you to be okay," Logan said. "I want you to not have to do this to yourself. Okay?"

Kendall pursed his lips and looked away. "Yeah, okay."

Logan sighed. "I'm sorry. I won't 'jump on you' like that again."

"It's fine," Kendall dismissed with a wave of his hand. "I'm sorry. Just…tired."

"Well…go get some sleep then," Logan suggested.

Kendall nodded. "Yeah. Thanks," he said, almost as an afterthought as he walked out the door. He paused and gestured to his bandaged wrist. "For the first aid."

"No problem," Logan murmured. When Kendall left, closing the door behind him, Logan just remained where he was for a few moments. He shut the lid of the first aid kit and set it on his nightstand and then walked back to his desk. After a few moments simply staring at his laptop screen, he saved his essay and shut down the computer. There was no way he could concentrate on his schoolwork now. Instead, he wandered over to his bed. Crawling up to the top, he leaned against the headboard, drawing his knees up to his chest and hooked his arms around them, hands clasped in front of him. And he wished with all his heart that Kendall would be all right.

* * *

Kendall pulled up to the gate that blocked off a long driveway leading up to an impressive mansion. He leaned out of his car window and pressed the call button. A few seconds later, the intercom crackled to life. "Kendall Knight, is that you outside my house at eleven pm?"

Cracking a smile, Kendall nodded and smiled up at the security camera that was trained on his car. "Yeah, let me in?"

"Maybe if I hear a please in there somewhere."

"Come on, Lucy," Kendall moaned, rolling his eyes.

Lucy Stone laughed and a second later the gate started to open inward. Kendall sighed and smiled, shifting the BTR mobile back into gear and heading up the hill. She came out the front door just as he was parking the car in the circular drive in front of the house. He stepped out, smiling as Lucy, clad in pajama pants and a black tank top, her black and red hair wildly half-curly, came walking down the front steps.

She outstretched her arms, pulling Kendall in for a hug. "I haven't seen you in so long, I forgot what you looked like," she complained good-naturedly.

"Yeah, well, I _am _your ex-fling and my best friend slash roommate _is _your ex-boyfriend," Kendall countered, laughing as he hugged her back.

"Ah, yes, how is Diamond, by the way?" Lucy asked, pulling out of the hug and walking back towards the house, gesturing for Kendall to follow.

Kendall sighed. "Sleeping his way through all the Victoria's Secret Angels, as I'm sure you've heard from all the gossip magazines," he told her as they walked into the black marble front foyer and Lucy closed the front door.

"Weren't you supposedly the bad boy of the group?" Lucy asked, folding her arms and jutting one hip to the side as she turned to stare at Kendall.

With a shrug, Kendall scoffed. "We switched at some point. Having a long-term "America's sweetheart" girlfriend seems to not be good for bad boy status."

"Stupid," Lucy commented, making a face and turning around to walk down the hallway. Kendall followed after her. "Sorry I'm a bit of a ratchet mess, I had a promotion party last night and was out 'till like five AM. I only got up like three hours ago."

"Sounds like you need to relax," Kendall commented.

"You sounded like you did on the phone, too," Lucy countered as she rounded the corner to her den. The secluded, tiny room was where she usually hung out with Kendall, or any of the guys when they came by to visit. It had a cushiony brown couch, two impossibly comfortable bean bag chairs, a stereo, a mini-fridge, and a selection of various activities like board games and puzzles on a shelf in the corner. One of her guitars was in there as well, laying across the couch.

Lucy moved it and gestured for Kendall to sit down next to her as she made herself comfortable. "I had fittings all day today," he complained, rolling his eyes at just the memory of the hours of poking and prodding with pins, the pictures, and the anxiety of explaining his bandaged wrist.

As fate would have it, Lucy nodded towards the gauze wrapped wrist at that moment. "What happened there?" she asked, as she leaned over to a small table beside the couch.

"Cooking accident," Kendall said simply, easily, and nonchalantly, as he had been all day. He wasn't so sure that James and Carlos had bought it, but they hadn't grilled him and he had headed over to Lucy's as soon as they had finished for the day, so they hadn't had a chance to ask. If he had to place a guess, they would probably quiz Logan all evening and argue amongst each other about what to do about him. He hoped they would just decide to let it slide.

"See, that's why I don't cook," Lucy said as she sat back up with the item she had been reaching for—her pipe. "Mind sharing?" she asked with a twinkle in her eye.

"You got a head start on me, you ass?" he teased. She only took a drag from it and then handed it wordlessly to Kendall, smoke pouring from her mouth.

* * *

An hour later they were still there, high as kites and having random conversations. Just as Lucy was describing something that had happened to her at the party the night before, Kendall's phone rang. Jo's smiling picture lit up the screen and Kendall just stared at it.

Lucy paused and stared at Kendall. "Aren't you going to get that?" she prompted on about the third ring. Kendall shushed her, holding up one finger, signaling her to wait. When the phone stopped ringing and "1 MISSED CALL—JO" showed up on the screen, he sighed.

"She would be so mad if she knew I was here, with you, high," he explained.

"You realize I didn't have to be quiet while the phone was _ringing_, right?" Lucy whispered exaggeratingly. Kendall reached over and slapped her lightly on the shoulder while she laughed.

The phone buzzed again, signaling Kendall that he had a voicemail. He grimaced for a minute, considered, and then picked up his phone, sliding to open his voicemail box.

"_Hey, baby, uh, it's me. I just got done shooting for the night. Sorry I haven't been texting you..." _she trailed off for a second and he heard some noise in the background. She was getting into a car. _"Anyway, I thought I might stop by the crib on my way home. We can watch a movie if you want to, or anything. I miss you. Anyway, love you, bye!"_

Kendall groaned. "What's up," Lucy asked, her mouth full of goldfish from the box she had snagged on top of the mini fridge.

"Jo's going to stop by the crib," he explained, rolling his eyes. "Man, I guess I gotta call James or someone, tell them to come up with something."

"How on Earth does your and Jo's relationship last in this condition?" Lucy wondered, dropping goldfish into her mouth from above. "You can't _lie _to her."

"She hates it when I smoke and she's not to big on you, either."

"I thought she was chill with me!" Lucy exclaimed, insulted.

"Yeah, well once you broke up with James and started going down what she called 'a slightly concerning path' she sort of lost all of that chill."

"Just cuz I'm don't have a stick up my pure white ass…" Lucy muttered. Kendall slapped her shoulder again, harder this time.

"That's my girlfriend, Luce," he pointed out as he pressed the speed dial for James. "Now shut up."

James answered after only one ring. "_Hey, man, what's up?"_ he said in an odd tone that made Kendall think that James had just been talking about him.

He shrugged the paranoia off, not easily, and tried to sound easy-going. "Uh, not much, just hanging here with Lucy," he said.

"Wow, you're hanging out with my ex-girlfriend. Cool. Something I totally care about." _That _sounded like James.

"Yeah, whatever, she's basically my ex-girlfriend too, get over it," Kendall said too quickly, tripping over his words. "Anyway-"

"_Wait, are you high?"_ James demanded.

"Maybe a little bit," Kendall admitted.

"_You ran out on us after a long day of fittings to go get high _without us?_ That hurts, man. Really does."_

"Look, we'll smoke together next time," Kendall promised blindly. "Anyway, Jo might stop by the crib looking for me. I don't really care where you say I am, just promise not to say either high or with Lucy."

James was silent for a moment. _"Are stoned and baked also not allowed?_" he asked finally.

"Look, please? She hates it when I get high and I promised I would cut back, and I _have, _but she still gets so annoyed and-"

"_Dude, calm down,"_ James laughed. _"I'll cover for you. And don't even worry, you barely ever let loose and relax a little. Jo's just being a girl."_

"Lucy's a girl," Kendall commented.

"Oh believe me, he knows," Lucy said, now tossing goldfish in the air to catch in her mouth. She missed a lot.

"_Yeah, I am very aware,"_ James said at almost the exact same time, and Kendall cracked up. That made James laugh too. _"All right, you have a good time. You gonna stay over there?"_

"Probably," Kendall said. "If I don't, I'll call Logan or you."

"_Do that. See you tomorrow, man."_

"Later." With that Kendall hung up.

"You all safe from Miss Oh-So-Pure?" Lucy asked, holding her hands in front of her, palms pressed together in mock prayer.

"Hey don't make fun of her!" Kendall demanded. "I already told you to stop."

Lucy shrugged. "I can't help it. I'm mean when I'm high."

"You're mean a lot of the rest of the time, too," Kendall pointed out.

"Okay, okay, I'll stop," Lucy conceded. "Only because I really think you need to relax. Every time I've seen you lately, you've been so wound up, I was afraid you'd just shoot out of a window and off into space."

They both cracked up over that. Putting the slight disagreement in the past, the both of them continued to smoke and hang out together for the rest of the evening.


End file.
